Mockingjay

Ok, first off, yeah yeah, everyone sees how well my brilliant plan to keep myself motivated to type has been, which is to say, not at all. Oh well. And on to what I really wanted to say in this posting. But first: WARNING!! This posting will contain spoilers for the Hunger Games Trilogy and more specifically for Mockingjay.

I just finished reading the final book from the Hunger Games Trilogy and it has left me a little, um, listless? It's the same feeling I get whenever I finish a particularly captivating series. I'm kinda happy that it seems to have worked out for the main characters, more or less, and sad that I have to say goodbye to them now. I've spent several months of my life reading about them, worrying for them, cheering at their triumphs and crying when things have just been so heavy and unfair that there's nothing else I can do. And now their stories are over and I miss them. Katniss, the main character, really grew on me. I mean, I liked her from the very first book, but the author, who's name escapes me even though I just finished the book, wrote her so well that I felt what she did. I was right there through all the emotions that the girl was going through. And if I were going to complain about anything, it's that even though the final book had a slightly happier ending than its two predecessors, it was not a "yay, everyone celebrate because this was one of those people who endured many hardships but got what they deserved in the end, which was blissful happiness" kind of ending. A lot of characters who I really liked were killed. A couple characters who I didn't necessarily like but wanted to live because I like their love interests didn't live. It was just all around a not very happy series. Not that it was meant to be. But still. Ok, getting into details that will really spoil the books, so if you haven't read them but may do so some time in the future, because of the mad revue I'm giving them no doubt, stop reading!

I'm glad that Katniss ended up with Peeta. As much as I liked Gale, I completely agreed with the author's line about Katniss not needing some one who had fire in his personality, fire fueled by hate and rage. She had enough of that on her own. She needed Peeta who was much more a water personality. I'm happy that they had kids together at the end, but I was hoping for more about their relationship growing and blossoming from the staged performance to the real thing. I was hoping to go through that with them instead of having it summed up for me in the epilogue.

I was horribly sad when Peeta came back into the book having been highjacked by the capitol. He was, besides Katniss, my favorite character. He was so solid for the first two books. I felt like I could really count on him. He always did the right thing, was always putting others before himself, always eloquent and thoughtful. If I had to be like someone in this book I would want to be like Peeta. It was really hard to reconcile the highjacked horror in book three to the first to books. It was hard to read about him like that. I wish that he would have been mentioned more in the epilogue. Whether or not he was happy, how he adjusted, all the little things that make up the normal life that should have been theirs all along. I only ever knew him under remarkable amounts of pressure, and yes he was amazing during all of it, but I find myself wondering what he was like when the most stressful thing in his life was the three am feeding. I want to imagine that he was as perfect at home, loving his wife and kids as he was in the arena, and that he was happy, but it would have been nice for that to have been spelled out as the reality by the author.

I still don't know what to think about Haymitch. I don't think I like him. Yeah, he had redeeming qualities, but he wasn't trustworthy and always seemed to have a hidden agenda. I know I didn't understand him half as well as Katniss did, which may add to my general indifference if not dislike of his character. I just don't think I have the energy to invest in trying to read into every little thing he says or does in order to really like the guy.

I did like Prim, though she really wasn't a very big part of any of the three books. The only thing that made her character of any interest at all was Katniss' love for her. She was sweet and looked after their mother, but the only reason I was sad when she got blown up at the end was sympathy for Katniss rather than a sense of loss due to her death.

I liked Gale, but he seemed so angry. He was good to Katniss and he was a good guy. I'm glad he didn't die. There are a lot of good things I could say about his character and I think I'd like to have him as a friend, but again, I really think Katniss ended up with the right guy in the book.

I'm sad that Finnick died. He'd only been married to Annie for what? A couple months? At most? She was fragile in the first place. I don't know how she would have coped with his death. She didn't seem too out of it to vote on the hunger games for the capitol children, and that seemed a little...mm, out of place maybe? I would think that after losing the only thing that seemed to keep her even a little sane, she'd be too out of it to really be present. But, after getting more of Finnick's story, I'm sorry he died. It wasn't a nice death either! To be torn apart by mutts. Not pretty. I feel the author did a very good job fleshing him out in the short amount of page space allotted to Finnick. Again, I was sad that he died and would even have liked to have seen his death, if it had to be there, have a little more time spent on it, a little more focused on.

Who else? Oh, Cinna. I really liked him. I was really, really hoping that he'd be alive and in the third book. It didn't really need him, as illustrated by him not being in the third book and it still being really good, but still. He always seemed like the rock that Katniss needed. He was the calm in the middle of the crazy capitol, the proof that not all capitol citizens were bad. If he had had a slightly larger role, he would probably have been either my favorite character or second. As it is, he's my third after only Katniss and Peeta. I like Cinna even more than Gale, though they are pretty close.

And that is my revue of the characters. I think I'm going to read the whole trilogy through one more time before relegating the books to a shelf I keep for books to recommend and loan out should they be requested. I know I'll read them again next year or there abouts. They will be added to the list along with Ender's Game, Ender's Shadow, and the Dark Elf Trilogy, that will be read at least once a year because I like them so much. I'm wary of the movie coming out. It will be very difficult, probably even impossible, to convey what the book did in a movie version. Still, it should be interesting to see what they do with it.
Signing off. Until next time.

Decision and Disclaimer

It's been more than a week since my last posting, but don't think its because I have nothing interesting going on inside of my head! I simply have not felt in the mood to share my ingeniusnouness with others. Sometimes intelligence has to be private.
I haven't been working on my story like I should either. I've drawn a couple pictures though. I've decided to try to keep myself motivated to keep writing by posting it here. If I think, even a little, that some one else is waiting for the next part, I'll be more motivated. That's what I've decided anyway. Heheh. Ok, so...mom, don't think you'll like this. That's just my little disclaimer. To anyone else, it's not bad or anything, it just has to do with angels and demons and has nothing to do with religion. I'm writing this as a fantasy and merely thought that making the characters supernatural would allow me to add interesting elements while giving me a little freedom to exercise my imagination. Everyone knows what humans can do. Ever since Lord Of The Rings came out everyone knows what elves, dwarves, and giants can do too. So angels and demons are not so well defined and give me a little wiggle room to surprise even myself with abilities and ways of thinking and so on. See? My story has no underlying meanings or disrespect intended. Alright, so anyone still interested, please look forward to my next posting which will start the story. And if anyone can think of a nifty title for me, I'm afraid I've been a little stuck on that part for a long long, long long, long long time. ...Did I mention that it's been a while? Yeah. Alright, that's all. I'mg going to start typing now and I'll be back with my first chapter or so. Ok, bye!

Social Mores and Expectations

With nothing in particular to say I sit to write because if I don't, I'll fall out of habit. I've decided that I miss highschool. It made me exorcise my brain and it made me physically exorcise, two things I seem not to do so much if I'm left on my own. Well, no, that's not true. I use my brain a lot, just not for so many creative things. I have to figure out how to get around the construction so that I get to work on time and I have to figure out how to make this resident in front of me not mad even though a leak ruined his prized record collection, and I have to figure out how my funds are going to pay all the bills I've some how accrued this month. So I guess I still have to be creative. It's jut not the fun kind of creative I liked in school.
Why were wives not jealous when their husbands had concubines in the old days? Were they not jealous because they weren't supposed to be? How much of ourselves are defined by what is expected of us? It still blows my mind. Multiple wives used to get along without any jealousy (except in the unhealthy relationship instances which seem to be more the exception than the rule). In other cultures, not that I'm an expert but I watch documentaries! jealousy doesn't seem to affect relationships like they do here. Do we get hurt and jealous and angry when our man is looking at another woman because that's how we were raised to think we should feel and behave? What else? Do I hate spiders because that's what I've been taught? Were I born in some other place, would I have them as pets, or eat them as snacks? Like getting married! I think there are better things to do, and why rush, and so on, but many of the people I know from one small town in particular are all married and have children already and it just seems like...the thing to do. Like they all paired off and married and started families because that's what was expected of them and so they thought it was normal and was what their lives should revolve around. It just blows my mind how different we could think or feel depending on what we are taught is normal. It would make for a great social experiment if only those darn ethics didn't get in the way! (I'm honestly joking here and think it would actually be a horrible experiment so don't get mad, and don't call me up and agree either because I'll have to yell at you)
That's my deep thought for the day.

30 Nights At The Museum?

Don't know if anyone else has heard of this, but a science museum in Chicago, no, THE science museum is taking applications for a thing they're doing where some lucky person is going to get to spend thirty days and nights inside. I assume that person is going to have to do a little more than just experiments and going crazy over the cool stuff they have in there. I personally would be like a kid in a candy store with no adult supervision if I got chosen. I've always loved museums. I enjoyed the heck out of the Smithsonian and the Samurai exhibit in San Francisco and the King Tut exhibit and the science museums I went to as a girl and, well, all of them! My only regret is having so limited a time to spend in them. Usually, a day is just not enough to enjoy each part of the museum to its fullest. I can't even imagine how much fun it would be to spend a whole month in what would essentially be a giant playground.
I originally heard about it on kfbk radio station, so if you're interested in applying go to their web site and then features and there's a whole application to fill out and a couple projects to complete, mostly to show that you're actually interested and are willing to put in a little effort...as well as to screen out the people who really don't belong in museums anyway, I'm sure. The application and the essay were a breeze. It's the minute long dvd I have to make showing my creativity that I'm nervous about. Should I blow something up using common bathroom chemicals, or would that send the wrong signal? Should I show clips of myself doing some kind of science fair type project? How many other people are going to be sending that exact same video though? ~Sighs~ Yeah, that part is going to be infinitely harder so I'm open to suggestions! Anyone have any ideas?
I hope I can count on everyone rooting for me! I'll keep you up-dated, but I'm sure you'd be able to hear me celebrating even from Sacramento if I was chosen. So if government helicopters aren't circling a possible new noise based weapon that mysteriously appeared in Merced, assume I didn't make it. Either way though, I'm going to follow this contest with rapt attention.

A Motion That Conveys Emotion

Her fingers trembled visibly as she lifted her hand. The gesture seemed too slow somehow, as if she were fighting an internal battle with each inch it moved. She couldn't have watched the silver coin more intently or apprehensively if it had been a deadly cobra. Her delicate, porcelain hand darted forward when it got close, as if she were afraid the coin would disappear or be scared away if she didn't catch it. Once her skin made contact with the metal the sudden desperation dissipated. She caressed it gently, lovingly, just as she had once touched its owner. It was all she had left of him.

Teen moe

Having been watching the show Dexter, I can't help but harken back to the days of yore when I was a moody teenager. Many of the monologues that Dexter has in his head remind me of things that I thought back then. Now, for those of you who've seen the show, no, I was not, emphasize, NOT, a serial killer. And for those who have not seen the show, Dexter is a sociopath who does not experience the normal range of human emotions. He lives his life in his head and thinks everything through, if not logically, then with all head and no heart. I used to do that. I'd over think everything and I was the center of my own universe.
It got me to thinking if that was normal for teens or if I was just a spaz. I also started wondering if most teens who go through their little rebellious phases and moody moments do it because that's how we're told we're going to be, if it's because that's what's expected of us, or if it is really something that happens to most kids. I began wondering if my rebelliousness was triggered by the belief that it was what all the kids were doing. Was my teenage angst nothing but peer pressure? Don't know! I know there are a lot of things I would change if I could do it all again. I don't think I needed that moodiness to have matured to where I am now. I think my highschool years would have been so much nicer if I could have just been myself, my happy, peppy, random, nerdy, retarded self. I would have liked me more and I probably would have hung out with different people, who would also have liked the happy, peppy, random, tarded me. That time machine I was talking about in an earlier post? I need it. Anyone have a time machine I could borrow by any chance? Just for a couple hours, promise!
Would it be wrong to go back in time and steal an elizabethan dress for halloween?

The Chimp's Thoughts

'Hey, you got any bananas? Apples? Nuts? Popcorn? C'mon. Look at this face. Look into my big soulful eyes. I practised this face for a long time! You want to feed me. I know you do. You humans somehow equate cuteness with feeding and that's ok with me because I'm adorable and I want your bananas!'