MBlaq's Smoky Girl Review

I love Kpop!  Unfortunately, that does not mean that I own, or am in any way associated with any of the members of bands, their producers, their song/music writers, or even the people that wash their cars (assuming the band members we're talking about are old enough to drive).  So if you sue me for stealing, or impinging, or mocking, well then the joke's on you because I don't have any money!  Ha! ...Wait...*cries*

Anyway!  MBlaq's Smoky Girl

This song, I'm sorry to say, did not grab me the way Cry or Stay did.  I've largely ignored it since it first came out, but I recently heard it again and it got stuck in my head for the rest of the night!  So, what do we learn from this boys and girls?  That first impressions are not always the right impressions. Yes, very good.  (Wow, I could not be an elementary student teacher.  I fear my level of patience is ridiculously low and I would mock them in the guise of being nice, figuring that they weren't smart enough to know that I was being mean... and then I'd get caught, and fired.  Better to let more angelic people handle children!)

The song has a nice enough beat through most of it and there's enough english in there to keep me entertained through the whole song as those are generally the only parts I can sing along to.  But!  And there is a BIG but in there (and 5 cute ones!).  Has anyone else looked up the translation of the song and thought that the dance is slightly inappropriate?

There was a woman sitting alone at the bar, Her sad eyes filled with anguish...

I'm afraid that I can't say that this is my usual body language when I first find a fellow human being who seems to be suffering...

The words and the tone of the song are serious, sad and empathetic.  He supposedly falls for her straight away because her sadness, her 'anguish' draws him in, but the dance... it just doesn't fit!  It's not sad, intense, mostly standing around, rubbing lips or looking longingly at the camera.  It's big, energetic, and, well, see for yourself!  

It's like they learned this choreography but didn't have a song to put it to, then decided that it would be better to use the dance with this song than to waste all the time they'd spent learning it!

Don't get me wrong.  I enjoyed the dance.  Like I said, it was big and energetic.  If it were to a happier, or even more aggressive song, I'd love it.  Mblaq has a lot of hotness, and they use it well.

And may I make a fan moment to say how good I think Joon looks in his fedora?  Woohoo!


And that's all I have for Smoky Girl.  The make-up was masculinely done, there were no horrible, hot pink, leopard print pants, the jewelry was tasteful and not overwhelming.  Overall, I felt that this song and music video was safe which made it pleasant but forgettable.

EXO's Growl Review

As pointed out in an earlier post, there haven't been any knock-out, fantasmagorical music videos released recently so I'm reaching way, way, way back to somewhere around the beginning of the year for more material.  Disclaimer:  I would not be sitting in my living room, writing this blog if I owned anything having to do with EXO, their music, videos, or talent.  Heck no.  I'd be making a pest of myself, trying to weasel my way into working with them or joining the group as a temp back up anything... yeah.  If I had anything to do with their official anything, I'd probably have a restraining order by now.  Heh.

Anyway!  EXO's Growl.

The song didn't catch me right off the bat the way my favorite songs do, but it was bouncy and likable once I'd played it enough.

I would have enjoyed this video a lot more if they hadn't spent quite so much time with their hands on their crotches.  *Uncomfortable*  The first really obvious, lingering placement was at just 7 seconds into the video for goodness sake, and it only escalated from there. It happened again at 9 seconds, a double hand grab at 17 seconds, then a kind of a thrust into the hand at 32 seconds, etc.  It put me in mind of jock itch, where perhaps they just couldn't help but scratch or touch or anything to relieve the burning.  Or, maybe they were going into a dangerous situation without a cup on and were trying to protect their family jewels.  Their second English line of the song was 'So dangerous.'  Herpes maybe?  Their first English words were, 'So sexy,' after all.  What's more dangerous than a sexy woman with the clap?  And that would explain all the grabbing.  And even if you're thinking about skipping to the next paragraph to skip the rest of this complaint, just realize that I haven't been complaining about it half as long as they spent doing it!  So there.

Hey!  Stop that!  You'll go blind!

I watched a documentary on strippers once and they said the key to being sexy rather than raunchy was to be sensual rather than sexual.  Rubbing the lip?  Sensual.  Touching your d*ck?  Sexual.  Sorry, EXO.  Fail.

Whew, feels good to have that off my chest.   Ok, the rest of it... whatever tiny bit's left... kekekeke

Um, is it just me or do the guys remind anyone else of baby chicks following their mother, flapping their little wings as they go hopping off?  

And so happy!  I love when bands are able to look happy and into their routines, even though you know that they've practiced the dances hundreds of times and must be so bored with them by the time they film.  It takes real talent to make something so rehearsed look so fresh and fun.

What is this song talking about you may ask?  The lyrics are about being attracted to a girl who may or may not be a tease.  He's saying that he is jealous when other guys look at her and that he could get violent if anyone else tries to move in on her.  The song is a  weird vacillation between how good and gentle he'd be with her, and how wolfy and ferocious he'd be with any of his rivals.  And the name of the song?  Growl?  Heh. "I growl, growl, growl."  I know it's a little facetious of me, but I can't help but think of one of those little yappy dogs when I hear this line.  A little chihuahua that barks and growls and shakes before it runs away.  Lol!  Ok, sorry.  No, EXO boys, you're very intimidating. *Snickers*

I really enjoyed the dancing in Growl.  It was aggressive and almost popping, but not quite.  I've been searching for examples of some of my favorite moves, but apparently I enjoyed different parts than most other people because I couldn't find them anywhere!

Here's an example of some bits I liked:

  

I'm very sorry to EXO fans, but this is the first song that I've liked enough to make me at all interested in them.  But may I just say how difficult this music video made learning about them??  How many of them are there in total?  Not sure.  They're split into groups for most of it and the groups keep changing its members... I think...  What are their names?  Let's look up the one in the NY hat first.  Oh, two or three guys wore it.  There costumes are a bit different but not really different enough to be able to tell them apart.  What about the guy in the red hat?  Oh, that changes too.  Gosh darn it!  So frustrating.  Stop moving so much!

Lastly, I have to mention the hat retrieval move.  Yes, every blog so far has mentioned it, but wouldn't you feel that I had forgotten something if I did not also?  Exactly.  Hat retrieval drop spin!

Smoothest. Move. Ever.

And guy next to him spares only a glance before flowing into his own part.  No hesitation!  Guess that's where the hours and hours and hours of practice really pay off.  Beautiful.

I know there's also a bit of a laugh about one of the filming crew being caught in the background through a window, but I would never have seen him in a million years so I'm not going to include a picture of him here.

Superman Insurance

Anyone think the people of Metropolis must have Superman insurance?  It would be there for when they woke up to a huge hole in their home, or half their home was simply missing, or their work said not to come in because their cubicle is scattered all over the whole block (but if they could work, they'd have a nice view of the city).  It must happen on a weekly/monthly basis where giant swaths of the city are reduced to rubble and people are left homeless or with an excuse to renovate the kitchen...  

Whenever Superman saved the world the insurance companies must get an influx of claims.


"Hello, this is your insurance operator."
"Hi.  Superman just saved the city again today."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.  We'll send out an agent to assess the damage but your Superman Policy covers up to $500,000."
"Yeah, I think I'm going to need all of it."
"While we have you on the phone, Ms. Victim, I'd like to take the opportunity to inform you that our premiums are rising, due to the frequency of claims."
"Ah crap."

And this is what I was thinking about this morning rather than my dissertation.  Sigh...

Shinee, BtoB, Teen Top

Late last night I began a post about how I haven't cared too much for the Kpop music that has been coming out recently.  This in spite of the fact that a lot of my favorite bands have been having 'Come Backs' which, in the US, is called simply coming out with new releases (small cultural difference?  Translation fail?  Dunno)  I figure blogging is a good place to complain a bit, make some jokes about some of their more eccentric artistic choices... you know, put my jealousy and desire into derisive commentary.

Shinee's Everybody.

Any body else see Minho say 'ebrybody' instead of 'everybody?' Hehehe.  I can't find a gif to show you, but everyone else seems to have a handle on the difference between a v and a b.

Shinee has one of the best dancers in the Kpop world!  And the rest aren't too shabby either, so what's with the elementary school recital move, with the shoulder shrugging shuffle?  Really?  I mean, I, the most uncoordinated person in the entire world, can do this!  I had come to count on Shinee to impress me!  And this?  This is not impressive.

Eh...

I did, however, enjoy this part.  It kind of reminded me of a magic show or something.  Thank you Shinee!

And I've already made clear how disappointed I was with the sound of the song.  And that's what I think about that!

BtoB's Thriller

May I just say first, how much I love their looks in this video?  No jokes, no sarcasm, they were all incredibly hot.  A good amount of make-up, appropriate costumes, and ok special effects.  Good on ya BtoB!  (If I were going to nit pick, and I am for just a moment, their costumes were very shiny and Hollywood, which is not bad, just not necessarily the best choice in connection with the song)



Well, I've already made groaned over the horrible backward penguin waddle, so I'm not going to do it again.  But I still cringe every time I see it.

And on to new songs!

Teen Top's Date

I always think of these videos as the lowest budget videos possible.  I mean, these boys have cameras on them almost 24/7 so it's not going to cost anything extra to take a few minutes of that footage and then edit them together to a sound track.  There are definite advantages to this form of laziness.  They don't have to take days out of their schedule to dance on sets, they didn't have to pay for extra camera men, lighting technicians, or any of the other things a music video generally requires.  Ok, it was cheap and everyone knows it was cheap, but it had some cute boys being cute, so I assume most people didn't care too much.

I don't even have any pictures or gifs that I really want to share because it was so unremarkable.  Love you Teen Top!  But, some effort would not go amiss next time...

What else is there?

Nothing.  So I guess there hasn't been a whole lot of new stuff to not like, so I don't feel so so bad about not having found anything new to add to my regular play list.  Aw well.

There wasn't much new material for this blog, but what little there was just had to be said!

A Bit of a Whine About Recent Kpop Videos and Thoughts on Ender's Game

I'm afraid that the reason I haven't done any music video reviews lately is because there haven't been any songs I've liked.  I've noticed a general lack of music video reviews among the bloggers I follow so I don't think it's just me.  Shinee's Everybody was an unappealing mix of a slow beat and over-worked sound effects.  The dance had some great parts and some incredibly cringe-worthy parts, like the awkward scratching/lawnmower move.
                     
                                                            Blehhhh!

How I miss the days of Ring Ding Dong and Lucifer.

BTOB's Thriller was less than thrilling (I know that was horrible, but it was so easy that I would have lost respect for me if I hadn't gone there!).  The music was more melancholy than exciting.  I haven't bothered finding the english translation because I generally only expend the time when I like the song, but I have to imagine that they are lamenting some great loss or preparing for a painful break up or something rather melodramatic.  The video was equally melodramatic and a little cheesy, but I could easily have enjoyed it as entertaining.  I did not, however, find any redeeming qualities about that embarrassingly hideous backward, bow-legged walk thing...

 
           Yeah.....  Sigh.

There's more, of course, but I need to save something for next week's entry, right?

Well it's turning cold again.  After a real, honest to goodness summer, it's been a little depressing seeing my breath at 3pm, during the warmest part of the day.  I had flash backs to having my zipper freeze to my lip.  I've already suffered my first debilitating cold of the winter.  Actually missed the first couple of days of the new year of school.  Way to make an impression on the teachers.  Gah.

Ender's Game is coming out soon as a movie.  I remember reading it in high school when there were still no such things as touch screens, tablets, or whatever else was talked about in the book before it was actually invented.  I feel old.  I loved the book.  Loved, loved, loved it.  Except for the last chapter.  It was one of only two books I was forced to read in school that didn't feel like work.  It became a staple in my book collection and my yearly reading list.  And let us not forget Ender's Shadow.

                

I've never been able to sell this book very well, but once they read it (arms may have been broken with all the twisting I've had to do) they love it.  No one has ever come back with an, 'eh' or 'it was ok.'  It was always 'Amazing!' 'I had my doubts, but wow!' etc, etc.  Ok, I am omitting the one person who was unable to get past the first chapter (an English teacher whom I respect, but has completely different tastes in reading materials than I) but I don't think 1 out of more than a dozen should count!

I'm thinking that the movie will fail to do the book justice.  What book has ever been done justice by the silver screen?  If anyone sees the movie before reading the book, please don't be put off by it!


I think this is Ender in the Zero-G battle room.  I have to imagine this is going to be hard to capture on the screen.  In the book, groups of child soldiers were formed into 'armies' and pitted against each other with laser guns as a form of training practice. These are some of my favorite parts of the story.




And now, I am being called to my bed.  Apparently, Pillow misses me.  And no, Pillow is not the name of a pet or the nickname of a significant other.  My pillow's name is Pillow.  I'm imaginative that way.  I'm sure I'll have more to say about Kpop when I have more time.  Complaining offers so many more jokes and opportunities for brilliance than praise, which is why critics makes such good livings, I think!

Until next time...