Social Mores and Expectations

With nothing in particular to say I sit to write because if I don't, I'll fall out of habit. I've decided that I miss highschool. It made me exorcise my brain and it made me physically exorcise, two things I seem not to do so much if I'm left on my own. Well, no, that's not true. I use my brain a lot, just not for so many creative things. I have to figure out how to get around the construction so that I get to work on time and I have to figure out how to make this resident in front of me not mad even though a leak ruined his prized record collection, and I have to figure out how my funds are going to pay all the bills I've some how accrued this month. So I guess I still have to be creative. It's jut not the fun kind of creative I liked in school.
Why were wives not jealous when their husbands had concubines in the old days? Were they not jealous because they weren't supposed to be? How much of ourselves are defined by what is expected of us? It still blows my mind. Multiple wives used to get along without any jealousy (except in the unhealthy relationship instances which seem to be more the exception than the rule). In other cultures, not that I'm an expert but I watch documentaries! jealousy doesn't seem to affect relationships like they do here. Do we get hurt and jealous and angry when our man is looking at another woman because that's how we were raised to think we should feel and behave? What else? Do I hate spiders because that's what I've been taught? Were I born in some other place, would I have them as pets, or eat them as snacks? Like getting married! I think there are better things to do, and why rush, and so on, but many of the people I know from one small town in particular are all married and have children already and it just seems like...the thing to do. Like they all paired off and married and started families because that's what was expected of them and so they thought it was normal and was what their lives should revolve around. It just blows my mind how different we could think or feel depending on what we are taught is normal. It would make for a great social experiment if only those darn ethics didn't get in the way! (I'm honestly joking here and think it would actually be a horrible experiment so don't get mad, and don't call me up and agree either because I'll have to yell at you)
That's my deep thought for the day.

30 Nights At The Museum?

Don't know if anyone else has heard of this, but a science museum in Chicago, no, THE science museum is taking applications for a thing they're doing where some lucky person is going to get to spend thirty days and nights inside. I assume that person is going to have to do a little more than just experiments and going crazy over the cool stuff they have in there. I personally would be like a kid in a candy store with no adult supervision if I got chosen. I've always loved museums. I enjoyed the heck out of the Smithsonian and the Samurai exhibit in San Francisco and the King Tut exhibit and the science museums I went to as a girl and, well, all of them! My only regret is having so limited a time to spend in them. Usually, a day is just not enough to enjoy each part of the museum to its fullest. I can't even imagine how much fun it would be to spend a whole month in what would essentially be a giant playground.
I originally heard about it on kfbk radio station, so if you're interested in applying go to their web site and then features and there's a whole application to fill out and a couple projects to complete, mostly to show that you're actually interested and are willing to put in a little effort...as well as to screen out the people who really don't belong in museums anyway, I'm sure. The application and the essay were a breeze. It's the minute long dvd I have to make showing my creativity that I'm nervous about. Should I blow something up using common bathroom chemicals, or would that send the wrong signal? Should I show clips of myself doing some kind of science fair type project? How many other people are going to be sending that exact same video though? ~Sighs~ Yeah, that part is going to be infinitely harder so I'm open to suggestions! Anyone have any ideas?
I hope I can count on everyone rooting for me! I'll keep you up-dated, but I'm sure you'd be able to hear me celebrating even from Sacramento if I was chosen. So if government helicopters aren't circling a possible new noise based weapon that mysteriously appeared in Merced, assume I didn't make it. Either way though, I'm going to follow this contest with rapt attention.

A Motion That Conveys Emotion

Her fingers trembled visibly as she lifted her hand. The gesture seemed too slow somehow, as if she were fighting an internal battle with each inch it moved. She couldn't have watched the silver coin more intently or apprehensively if it had been a deadly cobra. Her delicate, porcelain hand darted forward when it got close, as if she were afraid the coin would disappear or be scared away if she didn't catch it. Once her skin made contact with the metal the sudden desperation dissipated. She caressed it gently, lovingly, just as she had once touched its owner. It was all she had left of him.

Teen moe

Having been watching the show Dexter, I can't help but harken back to the days of yore when I was a moody teenager. Many of the monologues that Dexter has in his head remind me of things that I thought back then. Now, for those of you who've seen the show, no, I was not, emphasize, NOT, a serial killer. And for those who have not seen the show, Dexter is a sociopath who does not experience the normal range of human emotions. He lives his life in his head and thinks everything through, if not logically, then with all head and no heart. I used to do that. I'd over think everything and I was the center of my own universe.
It got me to thinking if that was normal for teens or if I was just a spaz. I also started wondering if most teens who go through their little rebellious phases and moody moments do it because that's how we're told we're going to be, if it's because that's what's expected of us, or if it is really something that happens to most kids. I began wondering if my rebelliousness was triggered by the belief that it was what all the kids were doing. Was my teenage angst nothing but peer pressure? Don't know! I know there are a lot of things I would change if I could do it all again. I don't think I needed that moodiness to have matured to where I am now. I think my highschool years would have been so much nicer if I could have just been myself, my happy, peppy, random, nerdy, retarded self. I would have liked me more and I probably would have hung out with different people, who would also have liked the happy, peppy, random, tarded me. That time machine I was talking about in an earlier post? I need it. Anyone have a time machine I could borrow by any chance? Just for a couple hours, promise!
Would it be wrong to go back in time and steal an elizabethan dress for halloween?

The Chimp's Thoughts

'Hey, you got any bananas? Apples? Nuts? Popcorn? C'mon. Look at this face. Look into my big soulful eyes. I practised this face for a long time! You want to feed me. I know you do. You humans somehow equate cuteness with feeding and that's ok with me because I'm adorable and I want your bananas!'

The Old Mill

The old mill house that sat nestled amidst the slender young trees beside the timeless river had been built tall and long to accommodate stacks and stacks of logs as they were fished from the water and cut into manageable sizes and shapes. Time had darkened the strong wooden walls as well as the lights that once burned inside. The gentle forest breeze whistled through the chinks in the deteriorating building, replacing the louder one the workers had once waited so impatiently for that signaled the end of another 10 hour work day. The saws and equipment that lingered inside no longer gleamed in sun light that pierced the roof and filtered in through the lone dirty window near the front door. They were nearly as brown as the walls and would never again split logs as they'd been made to do. The forest the mill had been built to convert into civilization was slowly reclaiming its territory. Moss clung to it and insects burrowed into it. Nests and rodents rested in the cool shadowy places in the eaves. The river murmured softly as it splashed about the base, having long forgotten the days it was used to carry trees to the building.

Time Travel

Ok, if you're a sci-fi geek like me, you've been over and over the whole time continuum thing, and mind bending possibilities that some how leak into multiple realities and multiple time lines and so on and so forth. I thought it was about time that I do my part to further grind this subject into the ground.

Lets start with the basics. Lets say that I regret doing something in the past so I jump in my trusty time machine, go back to the moment before I do that something, and I stop myself. Well then I change the future, don't I? Well, if the future is changed, then my future self won't feel the need to jump in her trusty time machine because the bad thing that I did that inspired the time travel didn't happen, thereby eliminating my trip to the past and therefore I would do that bad thing again and then I'd have to go back in time again, which would be pointless because as soon as I changed the future I would negate to travel to the past, and so on.

Thus are born the need for alternate realities. Because I have gone back to change the past, the future has already happened and all I'm doing now is creating a branch for the new, less regretful me to live in. So...what happens to the me who travelled back in the first place? Do I have to go back to the future I created for myself the first time, or do I get to go to the branch I just created by changing the past? And if I do get to enjoy the new branch of reality, do I then disappear out of the first reality? And if that's the case, that reality would fizzle out eventually, right? Because don't most people have things in their past that they'd like to change and thereby change their futures?

Well, thinking about time travel too long can get you frustrated and short tempered so I'm going to leave it at that. Hope I gave you something to think about!

The Dark Passenger

Side note: No, this isn't origional, I stole the idea from Dexter. The words are mine but the concept of the 'dark passenger' is from that show and doesn't belong to me.


My life stretches like a long road before me. So many opportunities lie to either side and I want to turn, I really do. But for the dark passenger. Right beside me, this shadow, this blackness of character nudges me when I look away from straight ahead. Sometimes the passenger even steals the wheel. He's the one that whispers to me in my times of confusion and doubt. He looms, menacing and cold, just beside me, near me. He's the one who determines my course when I become less than vigilant. The dark man is more single minded than I am, he wants only one thing, and he never deviates from his persuit. In a way, that makes him stronger than me. And he's always there.